more than words

I'm so tired, but I can't sleep...standing on the edge of something much too deep..funny how I feel so much but cannot say a word..we are screaming inside, oh but we can't be heard..so afraid to love you, more afraid to lose...clinging to a past.

I start to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?... I don’t know the answer, I know only that I can’t. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired and I am already exhausted.